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Healing Journey / Re: changing my life
« Last post by cindy on Today at 12:28:47 AM »
Thanks Lionne. Will respond later. Leaving to take sister to work so I can use her car today.
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Healing Journey / Re: changing my life
« Last post by lionne on April 26, 2017, 10:15:56 PM »
I hope someone in the U.S. can be more helpful than I can.  The problem with evicting your husband (apart from putting him an impossible situation to find a new place to live at short notice) is that if he refuses to leave you may end up fighting him both physically and in court.  The latter would be horrendous.

Another possibility is that you say to him that since he is living in the house, you would sign over the loan to him and wipe you hands of it completely.  That makes him responsible for deciding what to do about the debt and when to do it.

Of course, it's possible that the loan company won't accept this: but at least considering it puts him in the position of deciding for himself - in a real financial situation that he can understand - rather than in the emotional antagonism of your relationship.

You need help to stop this getting into an horribly expensive court battle: here at least people can resist eviction for years.  I think you need to wash your hands of the hope that you can make some money (because you may lose instead) and let him shoulder the stress and decisions.  You still aren't strong and selling a house isn't easy.

That's my life experience talking.  Get your daughter safe - celebrate her step into a new life even if you feel like sobbing.  Find another way to deal with you own needs:  train for a women's support line where your abilities would be in demand for example.

Sorry to sound bossy, but since I've spent six months trying to sell my own house while realtors promised the earth I feel protective about you.  I want to be like a mother bird and cover you with my wings.  But I must rush....

Love
Us
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Healing Journey / Re: changing my life
« Last post by lionne on April 26, 2017, 09:15:12 PM »
P.S. I saw your comments on other threads and want to say how warming I find your willingness to support others while going through so much yourself.  I had given up on twhj, but you give me heart again.

You are worth something :).  I loved when you wrote recently that the grief you feel about your daughter is as much about your life as hers.  You owned your own right to a decent life.

Us
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Healing Journey / Re: Udate
« Last post by lionne on April 26, 2017, 09:09:12 PM »
I like what you said about "energy and passion there" Sky.  It's a trip trying to release that potential rather than allow it to destroy:  I'm lost in that journey most days!

Thank you!
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Healing Journey / Re: changing my life
« Last post by lionne on April 26, 2017, 09:06:12 PM »
Hi Cindy
You are dealing with a lot in a short space of time and it's understandable that you feel shattered.
You aren't being mean, you don't have many good choices financially.

I have a practical question as usual.  I don't know how quickly houses sell in your area, but you are putting a lot of faith in the realtor being able to sell quickly.  Can someone go with you to talk to h - someone professional?  Maybe someone who supported you during your illness.  You have a real need for someone to help you deal with this.  I don't understand why the house has to be empty to sell, but I do understand that your h will be angry about the eviction - and then you have a problem of paying the mortgage while the house is being sold.

You have been successful in impossible circumstances with finding a good place for your daughter!  Most people wouldn't have got that far.  You are great for pushing forward and not running to hide in the woodwork!

It's understandable that you also feel overwhelmed and scared!
Is there anything that can help the vulnerable ones inside to hold onto hope?

Thinking of you!
Lionne

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Healing Journey / Re: watching someone break down
« Last post by cindy on April 26, 2017, 04:04:39 PM »
It is very hard to watch someone you care about suffer..how ever that suffering is..and not be able to help them. It made me think of when I first came to twhj and I wanted to help people and you guys would say how I have to come first. Took me a while to not think that was selfish because I didnt believe I mattered, others always mattered more. So I had a sense/thing/something where no matter what if someone else needed something it was expected for me to cut off my hand to help them.
So when I was reading what is going on, you saying about yourself being pulled in, I thought there is some true growth and healing from digging in deep and doing this work.
It is very hard to see her suffering but still maintaining your own boundries. It is very admirable of you.  ((((cleo)))
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Healing Journey / Re: Udate
« Last post by cindy on April 26, 2017, 03:53:31 PM »
((((((((sky))))))))
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Healing Journey / Re: changing my life
« Last post by cindy on April 26, 2017, 03:50:24 PM »
 things are so hard right now. :'( My baby moves in Mon. I have to start getting her stuff packed up on Fri. I know it is going to be good for her and she will be happy buttttt.
Having been cleaning toys and packing them with other stuff up and bringing car loads to my sister to sell. H does not know she is moving on Mon yet. The house is being listed for cash sale by a realotor I hired, she gets nothing if it doesn't sell. Told her I have no money for fixing anything or pay her. She thinks for sure she can get enough to pay the loan off and closing costs with a possibility of some extra for me, But I wont hold my breath on that. I am so overwhelmed that all I want to do is hide in the closet and cry!! I havwe to give him 30 day notice to get out but I need Mays mortgage from him. So mean and wrong but if he was a different person I wouldn't have to do it like this. He gives me the money on the 3rd. I have him sign the realtor paper saying he agrees to the lock box on house and his 30 day eviction notice. For the first time with him I am scared he will physically hurt me because of his mean and hatefullness to me lately. So I will make sure d is out and safe on the 1st, get the money on the 3rd and waite til the 4th for the papers. Realtor puts lock box on house on the 4th and lists the house.       :'( :'(  I am just freaking out. It's all too much. I cant take anymore. I cant even begin to tell you how desperate I feel to be hidden. I know those feelings come from little but I have no time to go into it or help her in anyway, which also makes me cry. I am a F N mess lately.
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Spirituality (Christian) / Re: Concerned
« Last post by Ofelia on April 26, 2017, 05:51:24 AM »
Hi Butterfly

The awesome thing about God is, that He is rich in mercy and wants to forgive us. He wants to adopt us and make us His children.
And what is even more awesome is, that we dont have to do anything for God to adopt us other than believe in His son and confess our sins (and turn from them). His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth paid our fine. We are free, blameless.

Therefore, if you believe in Jesus and confess your sins, you will be adopted by God as His child.

I struggled with this too, slipping into thinking that I need to be good to be God's child. Totally forgetting that I am not good (in God's eyes). Meaning, full of sin. I am a sinner by nature. Therefore no matter how good my deeds, I will not become a child of God by my deeds and actions.  Only by faith. And "blessed are those who believe without seeing"

Now when I get bad memories, or internal attacks that want to push me off the path, I pray to God and believe Jesus will sort it. And He does. For Jesus to work, I must let go. I must stop my self righteousness.

God bless you
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Hobbies and Interests / Re: What do you like to cook?
« Last post by Ofelia on April 26, 2017, 05:33:28 AM »
I got my all american pressure canner all the way from America today :)

We are processing and canning our own free range, organic chickens
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